Do you trust your hair to just anyone?
Maybe you track your Supercuts rewards points.
Do you do whatever it takes to keep hair appointments?
I hate admitting this, but on days when my life is unraveling, I am often wearing a hat.
The only reason I’m writing about hair is because I sat with a poem this morning – not about hair, but about hair stylists. It’s not only a reflection on the role of a hair stylist in someone’s life. It speaks to the work of a hair stylist – so much more than simply cutting hairs, the way a bartender is so much more than a drink mixer.
If you were intentionally seeking relief –a sanctuary, a listening ear, wisdom, hope… would your first thought be a hair stylist? Someone who dreams about becoming a hair stylist may not realize all the other hats they will wear!
Ironic that something so outwardly defining –our HAIR — rightly or wrongly — can acutely affect our internal wellbeing. Thank goodness for hair stylists!
I found a dozen metaphors in this poem, each one offering a different type of relief for what ails.
The metaphors!
refuge – spatial relief
timeout – temporary relief
bartender – verbal relief
soothsayer – worry relief
masseuse – physical relief
weaver – interpret/brain relief
confessor – spiritual relief
“hen” – judgment relief
mentor – teach relief
magician – belief relief
therapist – guilt relief
mortician – bury relief
So now, the reveal…
Kathy Pon is a poet. She’s a retired educator and administrator; a tireless advocate of diversity in public school systems. She’s a farmer’s wife. A mom. A new grammy. She’s my first friend. She’s my sister. This poem first appeared in The Writer’s Launch and is used here with her permission. You can enjoy a couple more of her poems by clicking that link.
And I’m offering a very simple response poem here:
Thank you to Jama at Jama’s Alphabet Soup –for hosting the Poetry Friday roundup this week!
Patricia Franz writes picture books and poetry. She believes children, dogs, and sourdough have a lot to teach us about life, joy, and wonder. She has raised two boys, four dogs, and holds a master’s degree in Theology with a focus on children’s spirituality. Patricia, her husband, her Bernese Mountain dog, Bonny, and her sourdough starter split their time between the Arizona desert and the Sierra Nevada mountains. 
I love this post. Truly, every time I see my hair stylist in her one customer booth at the salon mall, I tell her that getting my hair done is my therapy. She pretends its the first time she’s ever heard me or anyone say that and it’s part of what makes me feel good. I so enjoy your weekly posts…but this one is a gem of gems with the metaphors and response poem.
Thank you, Linda! All credit goes to my sister for her poem!
Patricia, you captured the interchange between stylist and customer and the relief that exists when one walks out the door into a bright new world of hidden roots. “Shears thin your heaviness” is a powerful thought from the mentor text (followed by your line, “untangler of tears”. I think my stylist would appreciate both poems. I appreciate your post that brings a genuine smile of gratitude this morning. Also, thank you for the fabulous Zoom session. I have not had a chance to play with my thoughts and create my own video yet. Happy Thanksgiving!
Carol, just to re-emphasize — the poem was written by Kathy Pon (my sister!), not me. And she did nail it, didn’t she!
Love that I was “present” while you were pondering your sister’s poem to inspire your own creation. Both are so true. I’ve been using the same hairstylist for many years. In fact, I started with her when she was fresh out of school, now she’s married with grown children! Oh, the secrets she could share. Still trying to figure out Canva, but I did come up with something for today’s post (completely forgot the copyright).
It was a good morning to sit. I love our writing sprint time. And again, reach out if you get stuck on CANVA.
Love this post! Yes to everything you said about hair stylists being listening ears, therapists, calm from the storm, sanctuaries, sisters, etc. Kathy’s poem is spot on. Funny you should post about hair since I need a haircut! I’ve had the same stylist for about 20 years and always enjoy our conversations. Wonderful response poem, too: “seat of wonder, safe from plunder.” 🙂
Thank you, Jama. That stylist relationship is sacred, isn’t it!
I lost my “temporary sanctuary” a while ago when she retired during the Pandemic. Now I’ve been searching and think I finally found her last week, a good haircut & willing to talk about our lives as we’re living them now. Love these, Patricia, you’ve certainly hit a chord with us. I don’t know if it’s still going like this with men, but long ago, I remember my grandfather always getting a shave and a cut with a barber friend. Happy Thanksgiving!
Just to re-iterate, the poem-genius is Kathy Pon (my sister!) – but I knew it would strike a chord with many women!
Patricia, your post is delightful. Thank you! It’s so neat to see the conversation between your poem and your sister’s poem. I’m especially a fan of the line “untangler of tears.” I love the sounds and the great multiple-meaning going on there. Happy Poetry Friday!
Thanks, Sarah!
Oh, Patricia, this post is perfect for me today. Though it is not the stylist who’s bringing the blessings. Your sister is a wonderful poet. So much sensitivity layered into that poem. And your response was a light and lovely highlight. Thankyou to you both. (More collaborations, please!)
I’m definitely a fan of her poetry — and yes, I do hope there will be more collaboration. Thanks!
I love reading these posts, how many of us appreciate the magic of a stylist in our crazy lives.
Thanks for letting me post your poem!
Patricia, the metaphor of the hair salon as refuge, confessional, sanctuary shine in these poems. You have alerted me to the significance of this location and its multi-faceted role in people’s lives. A ‘cut’ above the ordinary…
Just in case there’s any misunderstanding, the credit is all to Kathy Pon, author of the poem. Thanks, Alan!
I love this poem as you do, and how wonderful to be able to feature your sister’s work (and your own response). I was just at my stylist’s home salon this week–she moved from part-owner of a big busy award-winning salon to her own tiny cozy retreat and of course I moved with her, because of this: https://docs.google.com/document/d/10GjrOtC8_x-GRpiTs7pEfLE92FemZG6E/edit?usp=sharing&ouid=110954637794601739918&rtpof=true&sd=true
Heidi! Your poem is a wonderful complement to my sister’s/hers to yours 🙂 Thank you for posting the link here. You too, know the work of those hands/scissors.
Love everything about this blog post! The poems, the metaphor list… Now in need of a bit of R&R, I’m off to schedule my hair appointment.
And enjoy your time in THE CHAIR! Thanks, Donna!
You and your sister (my sister is a Kathy too!) have made me want to get back into a salon someday. I have cut my own hair for years (was doing it well before Covid….) but you’re both making me yearn for that stylist/friend/therapist relationship. 🙂
It’s one of those relationships we take for granted, isn’t it!
Yes, yes… these poems tell a true tale. How lucky we are to have someone to shampoo and fret over our locks. Mine is not only the best at cutting, she is a professional listener. I look forward to my time in her chair. Temporary sanctuary indeed. Thank you!
Thank you for introducing us to your sister’s poetry! When we moved to the DC area, I think one of my hardest things was finding a new hair stylist. I was lucky to get a recommendation from a friend for a new stylist, but for awhile, I contemplated driving four hours back to my old stylist. 🙂