It’s Poetry Friday!
Janice at Salt City Verse has the round up of poetry goodness. Join us!
Love and weddings were center stage this past weekend. My nephew was married beside an old oak tree in Gold Country (the foothills of the Sierras) surrounded by family and friends. My husband and I married 41 years ago on this same weekend. And we all danced – even my 91-year-old parents.
Three weddings in – these six beauties are documenting the joy as each girl celebrates. Top: October 2023. Middle: March 2024; Bottom: May 2024. Still to come: June, August, and October 2024!
I will officiate a niece’s wedding next weekend. And my son and his fiancé, who will be wedding #6 of 8 for us this year (6 family; 2 friends), asked me to write a poem for their ceremony. All of this has me reflecting on the anatomy of a marriage.
When life ends, whether by accident, infection or disease, an autopsy suggests a cause. But what causes of a good marriage? If we were to open up the body-marriage, what would we find? Hearts that bled out in sacrifice to the other? Shared respiratory molecules – one’s exhale became air for the other? Echoes absorbed into tissue from listening to one another? Evidence of laughter in the bent neck? Forgotten spats stored away in unused brain cells?
Why do some marriages last and others crumble? I don’t have an answer. I only know what I learned from watching my own parents.
And this past weekend, they danced.
photos & poem ©2024, Patricia J. Franz
autopsy: a marriage
the folding chair discomfits old bones
he stares at young bodies a-dance,
bad words wash past
his bride of 67 years watching him
waste away from her rockin’ walker
when the last song plays
Patricia Franz writes picture books and poetry. She believes children, dogs, and sourdough have a lot to teach us about life, joy, and wonder. She has raised two boys, four dogs, and holds a master’s degree in Theology with a focus on children’s spirituality. Patricia, her husband, her Bernese Mountain dog, Bonny, and her sourdough starter split their time between the Arizona desert and the Sierra Nevada mountains. 
Patricia, their dance warms my heart and I wish all the couples joyful lives together.
Aren’t they beautiful…🥰
Yes, they are. We all are, right? The ode-to- body parts poems that you all engaged in remind me that whether young or old, we are all gorgeous.
Thank you, Joyce. Watching them at the last three weddings brings smiles to all of us.
So much love (and to love) here, Patricia! Your multi-wedding marathon is fun to watch unfold. I cry at EVERY wedding, so I would have a lot of crying to do in your circumstances. : ) And that tribute to your parents, I love the unvarnished truths of old bones and bad words coupled with the tender dance – so beautiful and honest.
Yes, a lot of unvarnished truth…The only thing harder than aging is watching them age. It is often a struggle. So when they –we — find beauty in these moments, we are ever grateful.
Such an exciting year! And you will be officiating the next one! It’s a marvelous honor to be asked to write a poem also. I’m enjoying all the good news you’re sharing! Your parents are a wonderful example of grace and persistence.
Grace, most of the time. But aging is hard –on them and on us. But, as my husband reminds me, it’s better than the alternative!
Your sweet mom and dad♥️
Thanks, Fran. They are sweet — most of the time.
Wonderful to see your parents dancing!! Your poem is so touching. And that’s a lot of weddings! Congrats on your anniversary. 🙂
Thank you, Jama.
Patricia, Weddings! Yes, indeed. I love seeing the progression of the cousin weddings happening this year. Congratulations on your anniversary. Your parents are amazing! What a photo, and that poem helps us to be there at the wedding.
Thank you, Denise. 3 to go!
So moving, Patti ❤️🥲
You know all too well both the beauty and the heartache of this.
A compelling question, Pat, what does make a good marriage. Some successful ones are arranged, some are love matches. Some people fall out of love. Best wishes to all those who are marrying. Enjoy the celebrations. Loved the picture of your parents. And they danced” was a lovely ending to your poem.
Thank you, Janice.
Patricia, this is just beautiful – a tribute to your parents and to love. So much of it in evidence in your family this year!
Thanks Sally!
Patricia, your poem encapsulates such a tender moment in the long married lives of your parents. The true significance of which will become even greater in the years to come. Leonard Cohen comes swirling up in my memory at this time.
Hallelujah?
What a beautiful idea to look inside a marriage. You’re right! We don’t know what makes the marriage work in a healthy way. I love the example of the ‘old dancers.’ They are such an inspiration but I’ll bet they remember their young selves and still think that they are those people. I look forward to getting to know a bit more of the wedding poems you write!
You’re right, Linda. I think we all have pictures of ourselves that are younger than we truly are!
Good reminder not to wait until the proverbial last song. Dance NOW! Dance often! Dance badly but with joy and love.
Love the “dance badly” — I might have to co-opt that line, Mary Lee.
Patricia, the joy that you bring with this post is sensational. Congratulations on your 41 years of marriage and your parents long-lived marriage. Congratulations to those young brides and those yet preparing to be a bride. Your prose piece with this line: Hearts that bled out in sacrifice to the other? is so touching. Autopsy is a tender poem of lasting love. Every marriage should stop and remember the times past and the present filled with gentle nods of endearment. This hand in hand photo reminds me of last night when my husband took my arm and walked with me a few house away to the muddy pond (my first trip outside the hospital and house). I look forward to your retelling of your son’s wedding, your officiating of the nuptials, and reading the wedding poem/s you will write.
I’m so glad you’re on the road to healing, Carol.
Happy Anniversary to you and your husband, Patricia! I imagine you both celebrating your own love through this “Year of the Weddings”, and then, seeing your parents dance is a joy and a smile that you shared with all of us! What is the answer? Sometimes fate and luck, and “trust,” as you so beautifully wrote at the end of your poem. Keep sharing and wishing you a continuing summer of love.
Thank you,Linda.
Oh my goodness, Patricia. Your poem, your parents, your post…full of wonder and beauty!
So much love to celebrate! And your parents–what a joy to see them so happy.
What a year! That picture of your parents is so beautiful.
Patti, the world of possibilities to create and recreate new found talent in your poetry and musings…is amazing. yes, your faith filled loving parents can still do the two step with a smile. Happy to have had the pleasure of meeting them on zoom! Enjoy the rest of the weddings, especially your son’s. You will always be a dear friend to me..Love, Katie
What a fabulous tribute to love across the generations. Your parents’ dance is a memory to treasure and congratulations on your anniversary!