Leigh Anne Eck is hosting our August Spiritual Journey reflections.
Molly Hogan is our Poetry Friday host. Join us!
Leigh Anne offered a thoughtful prompt for our August Spiritual Journey: Family.
I’ve been thinking about identity—
From conception, our genes define so much of who we are – not just our physical traits, but behaviors, personalities, our susceptibility to diseases, our psyches. You may come from a loving, supportive family. Or maybe you don’t. Whether or not we love what we’ve inherited, much of it is non-changeable. Like fingerprints.
I am me
each one unique
lasting impressions
each a critique
each one unique
families, fingerprints speak
both find expressions
each one unique
lasting impressions
©draft, Patricia J. Franz
“When you as a child learned to speak,
It’s not that you didn’t know words—
It’s that, from the centuries, you knew so many,
And it’s hard to choose the words that will be your own.”
excerpted from A House Called Tomorrow
by Alberto Rios
all images courtesy of Pixaby
And like both fingerprints and families, no two are alike. Poet Alberto Rios eloquently points out: the centuries that flow into us bring a tidal wave of history. And we spend a lifetime choosing which parts we want and which parts we would like to set aside.
Growing up, my family was my rock, my anchor. I was blessed to marry a man who wanted to form a new family –or I suppose an extension of both of our families– while choosing “the words that would be [our] own.”
Some of my hardest lessons have required me to “take the picture off the wall.” That is, to reconcile what I hoped with what I actually have. I stumble still – whether it’s holidays or communication or presumptions.
I am still learning how to form and be a family.
Patricia Franz writes picture books and poetry. She believes children, dogs, and sourdough have a lot to teach us about life, joy, and wonder. She has raised two boys, four dogs, and holds a master’s degree in Theology with a focus on children’s spirituality. Patricia, her husband, her Bernese Mountain dog, Bonny, and her sourdough starter split their time between the Arizona desert and the Sierra Nevada mountains. 
Patricia, we are our family whether we accept or reject their values and characteristics, we are who we are because of them. Family is our foundation and what we build on as we go out into the world and form a new family. I don’t think we ever stop reforming our family as new things happen every day. Family evolves. Bob
I appreciate the beauty and challenge in trying “to reconcile what I hoped with what I actually have.” Being a family sometimes doesn’t come as easily as we believe it should, but it is still ours to love. Thank you for your thoughtful words, Patricia.
“I am still learning how to form and be a family.”
Same.
I love Alberto Rios so much. I think his title, “A House Called Tomorrow,” naturally leads to your oh-so-relatable thought: “I am still learning how to form and be a family.” Yes.
So much wisdom in your thoughts and poem you shared, as well as the one your wrote:
“each one unique
families, fingerprints speak”
We are blessed by families. I love the recognition that the work of family is ongoing in your words:
“I stumble still – whether it’s holidays or communication or presumptions.
I am still learning how to form and be a family.”
Still learning are the important words. Thanks for your thoughts.
Your poem speaks volumes, Patricia. Thank you for sharing your unique you with all of us.
Patricia, I am coming to this SJT party late – I struggled a bit with my post (like, for days) even though I wanted to write it, and it centers on a celebration. Memory crept in, see. It had to be acknowledged. Then I come here and read your words: “Some of my hardest lessons have required me to ‘take the picture off the wall.” That is, to reconcile what I hoped with what I actually have.” Oh. My. The idea vs the reality – they can be so different. It is a vital lesson, though, in learning to be grateful, and gratitude changes EVERYTHING. Families are so important and yet so tricky – your honest observation about still learning rings deep and true with me.
These words: “to reconcile what I hoped with what I actually have” so powerful. As I talk to my friends, we all have this to a certain degree (some more than others).
For reasons I will not disclose here, our family picture has been altered. I am struggling much more than I let on with having to let go of what I thought we were. Your words here, while deeply personal, are so very universal. Thanks for being vulnerable and honest.
Patricia, thank you so much for this. Like Margaret said, there are universal truths here that have comforted me. I love the rhyming in your triolet. Just beautiful!
Patricia thank you for these thought provoking poems regarding the concpet of family. Family is such a fluid notion. My wife often reminds me that when you feel surrounded by love- that is your family. I appreciate your honesty in delving into this particular notion of family.
Thanks for these insightful thoughts and poems about identity and family. Such rich ponderings. I definitely tend to leave the “picture” on the wall, even when it needs adjustment. You’ve given me a lot to think about here. Thank you for sharing.
There is much in this short poem of yours, for you and for all of us, many layers in each of our families, thanks!
Patricia, Rios’ poem is one that I shall ponder again and again. “That we can make a house called tomorrow” is an important line for my family. We are left with one less member and we are stepping into the next journey after the celebration of life. So now the family will learn to understand new family dynamics, new forms, and move into the tomorrow. Thank you for deep reflection into one world, family.