Be slow to speak, and only after having first listened quietly, so that you may understand the meaning, leanings, and wishes of those who do speak. Thus, you will better know when to speak and when to be silent.

St. Ignatius of Loyola

Who’d have guessed that an ancient saint might have something to teach us about listening to children?

All too often when an adult speaks to a child, the parents jump in to offer responses. Me: “Hi sweetheart! What did you do today?” Mom: “Tell her how we went to the park and you learned how to swing all by yourself!” Sound familiar? It comes from the best place inside of us: we want to lead with our enthusiasm; help our child recall the day; model conversational behavior.

But children move at a different speed than adults. They might not hear a question in the same way an adult hears it. Me: “Hi sweetheart! What did you do today?” Child: “Today is sunny!” A child may have no interest in recalling the day. And here lies the great invitation for us: “Yes! It is beautiful today! You must feel so happy!”

If we wait and listen to what the child says, if we wait and observe quietly, the child will invite us to enter her world. But we have to be patient. We have to be willing to let the child lead us. What awaits us there?